Where are the Men?

Attended a workshop this weekend, “Stepping Up – A Call to Courageous Manhood”. About all I can say is, “Wow”! The answer for what ails our culture may not be widely known but the question sure is; “Where Are The Men?”. The purpose of the Huntsman is to shed light, to find clarity on how we can succeed as men, real men. This course was definitely in alignment with the Huntsman!

“There was a day when you would move from boy to man, and there was some indication of when that was. Now we don’t know… and the result is that you’ve got a bunch of biological adults but emotional children… boys who can shave.”                               Mark Driscoll

Webster is always adding new words to the dictionary every year. I wonder when they decide to delete them? Doesn’t that make total sense? If a word is so irrelevant that the meaning is no longer understandable why not delete it from our world. For all intents and purposes most men have forgotten the words commitment and responsibility.

“The reason why we have thirty, forty, fifty-year-old adolescents…  (is) the breakdown of the family over the last thirty-five to forty years. With the rise of the divorce rate and the increased feminization of men, what we’re finding is a reticence of men to step up and step out.”                                                                                                                                                   Crawford Loritts

1 Corinthians 13:11 – When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.

It is time to find the courage to find manhood once again. In the song “Holding Out for A Hero” check out some of the lyrics:                                                                                                   I need a hero
I’m holding out for a hero ’til the end of the night
He’s gotta be strong
And he’s gotta be fast
And he’s gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a hero

It’s time to get strong and it’s time to join the fight! Women need a hero, your wife needs a hero, your family needs a hero. The world needs men who lead. It’s time to wear the pants again, men. And what kind of pants you wear matter! Skinny jeans, well that says you certainly don’t have a CC permit, but you can probably make a mean latte. Biker shorts, might mean you like exercise and shaving, a lot. They also mean you don’t mind complete strangers knowing your circumcision status. Real men wear cowboy jeans and camo pants.

Let me tell you what a real man looks like. He married his high school sweetheart. He worked the soil and cattle from 6:00am in the morning until dark, every day, except Sunday, then he went to church. He never missed his kids ballgame or rodeo. The only thing you every heard him do from the stands was cheer. When someone stole from him. He said, he must need it more than I do. He loved his wife, his whole life. When she got sick, and was home bound, he took care of her night and day. For seventeen years. At her funeral he told his son, “If I hear one more person tell me they felt sorry for me taking care of my wife all these years I’m gonna blow up! They don’t know that the greatest blessing of my life was to take care of your mother. I would never have changed a day in my life!” I said,”Dad let’s get out of here.” Told my wife I would be home sometime in the near future. Grabbed my brother-in-law Mike and the three of us headed for the mountains of Colorado. It was a special few days as we sat on the deck of the cabin, talked about a truly incredible woman and I was shown an example of what it means to love someone with your whole heart. I mean love someone. Like God loves you. Unconditionally, when it’s hard, even when we’re unlovable.

Yes, this man is my father, Delbert. The greatest gift he has given me was an example of how to be a real man. To work hard, love your family and know God. Dad was a farmer and rancher. I’ve had fancy job titles, made good money and so what. What matters is God made me to be a man and he gave me incredible examples of how to do that through  his son Jesus and my earthly father. What’s important is honoring God and trying my best to follow the example he gives me in his word and through the real men he’s put in my life, like my Dad. If I follow Jesus and am half the man my Dad is, then I will have succeeded, incredibly.

Legacy matters. Because of my parents, Delbert and Ann, and my in-laws Bob and Lila. I have examples of lifelong relationships, not always easy, but worthy of fighting for. All of their children have had lasting marriages. Old school, dang right. Bob and Delbert worked hard, loved their wife and children and the benefits of doing so were easy to see. The problem today? Legacy, yes there’s a legacy, it’s just not a good one. Just as Adam bought the lie that there was a better reward from the serpent than God, so do most men today. Men need an example. They need a father who is a man. And yes God sent his son to earth as a man, so we would have an example that we could follow and emulate.

The solution needed today is for men to decide to be men. If we become the man God intends us to be then we can be the father, we can be the mentor and we can leave the right legacy. God promises that if we follow him his will is to prosper us not condemn us. I look at my Dad and see the blessings he received from being a real man. The photo above was one of the greatest moments of my life, calling in and shooting a bull with my Dad sitting at my side. That’s also my son, Matt, in the picture following the legacy. Dad was my bow hunting partner and he was bow hunting with me on that trip, at 81 years-of-age. Of course there’s always a time in life when things change. After that he really got excited about bear hunting. Making numerous trips to Canada bringing home some beautiful trophies. What a man!

Step up guys. Women need you to, if your married your wife needs you to, your children need you to, America needs you to!

Some of the content in this article was borrowed  from “Stepping Up – A Call to Courageous Manhood – A Video Event”, based on the book by Dennis Rainey. I highly recommend checking out this course and other material by Dennis Rainey at http://www.familylife.com/steppingup .



One Comment on “Where are the Men?

  1. Bert, Thanks for saying what’s right and not what everyone wants to hear. Being a man is a choice. My dad showed us how to lead ourselves, lead others and be accountable for our actions or inactions. It was a lifetime commitment. He still leads us today. He uses a lot less words today as his looks or facial expressions speak volumes as he as he quietly holds us accountable. I think men have lost accountability. They have become so self-centered. They seem to ask more often than not, “What about me – what about my rights or my needs or my desires?” My dad taught us about sacrificial love. He showed us how to love others by being a man, a father, a husband and a friend. Your blog brought up good memories. I think I will call my dad today and thank him for standing strong and leading the way to manhood. Tom O’Keefe


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